How do we know if we are going to heaven?

This isn't the kind of thing that we ever claim to know with absolute certainty. But we can definitely have some degree of confidence about it if we cultivate the virtue of hope.

The  Catechism of the Catholic Church says that "Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ's promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit." First, notice that hope is a  theological virtue, meaning that it comes from God and is directed toward God. Our hope to one day be with God forever in heaven is not mere human wishful thinking, but rather a true gift from God. Likewise, the fulfillment of our hope depends primarily on God's mercy, not on our own ability to "earn" heaven.

Of course, any human being with free will can choose to reject God's gift of salvation. We do this in a very specific way if we commit a  mortal sin, which "results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace" ( CCC 1861). Not all sins are mortal, however, and less serious  venial sins do not deprive us of sanctifying grace. If we do commit a mortal sin, we can be restored to the state of grace through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

While human beings can't typically discern the state of someone else's soul, you can be pretty sure that you are in a state of grace if you haven't committed any mortal sins that you never confessed. And if you are in a state of grace, you have every reason to hope and trust in God's promise of salvation.

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